So, 2009's almost over. It's safe to say this this year was the absolute worst year of my entire life. Yes, that's true. Worse than all four years of The Meredith Saga. Worse than my freshman and sophomore years of high school. Worse than the year that I was uprooted from all of my friends and family in Gulfport and forced to move to Springfield. This year takes the cake.
I'm gonna try and do this chronologically. No, I'm not trying to get you to pity me. I just feel like taking a moment to take stock of this year, so I can see whether or not I learned from each of these.. mishaps..
Started off mostly bad. I was continuing my Masters at MSU with teachers that didn't like me and peers who thought they were better than me. Muddled through it and eventually decided to leave the program.
More bad as my anxiety increased, due to my impending move into the apartment.
Struggle to find a job. Failure repeatedly.
Roommate issues. No, we never fought. Nothing that bad. Just normal "first roommate" stuff that everyone goes through when they first live with someone who isn't their parents. At times, I wondered if he and I could ever reconcile the HUGE inequities that I'd built up in my head.
Then, of course, the powder keg that had become (what in my opinion was) the relationship that should have been the one permanent thing in my life finally exploded. Combination of my bad and her bad, but the bottom line was that the thing I cherished most in this world was ripped away from me, like a bandaid, but one where it doesn't completely come off the first time you pull. It takes MANY yanks. So imagine a bandaid and duct tape have a baby. And then you have to rip that off of you. Not pleasant. I'm still not sure how I feel about it.
I could write way more about that one (seeing as how.. um.. I have..) so I'll move on. Finally got a job. My boss is probably in the top 3 of worst bosses I've ever had. Constant tedium.
And, finally, someone in my family has been steadily declining, as far as health is concerned. Nothing major has happened, yet (knock on wood) but things aren't looking promising..
What did I learn from each of them. Well, let's go in order..
With the MSU thing, I learned that my life wasn't as planned out as I wanted it to be. This was good and bad. Not having choices makes life easier, but it doesn't make it as fun. I had the opportunity to totally revamp what I wanted to do and where I saw myself. I actually took control of my future instead of blindly walking some path that I created for myself in high school.
The move was a good thing. I actually appreciate spending time with my folks. And I think living on my own has shown me that, yes, I can in fact be self sufficient. I can life, day to day, and not just randomly die or set myself on fire. This is a plus.
The job failures gave me the opportunity to learn perseverance. I fell off the horse and got back on again. And again.. And again.
My roommate and I got better. Turns out, I was making mountains out of molehills, and now that I've realized that and lightened up a LOT, things are fine. Wish I saw the guy more often, but oh well. We're both busy.
I have no earthly idea what I was supposed to learn from the ex-girlfriend situation, so I'm going to skip it.
The current job.. Well, it gave me the chance to become much better friends with my friend Megan. I'm so happy about that. AND I had the opportunity to meet some awesome new guys and girls, and I'm hoping that my relationships with them will continue to grow and that I'll see more of them (well.. A few of them..), even though I'm quitting. Oh, which, yeah, that's what I decided to do. It's not ENTIRELY because of my boss. Yes he was a huge factor, but I'm going back to school in the Spring and there's really no way I could do school and this job simultaneously. I'll have day and night classes, so, yeah. That's that.
And family health stuff. Not gonna go into huge detail. Suffice it to say that there are treatment options, but these treatments usually make the patient feel worse than the actual ailment. So, we dunno what's going to happen, but it's making me learn how to cherish every minute that I get with my family.
So, yeah. Pretty terrible year, but I suppose there are silver linings to most things; you just have to look for them.
Regardless, 2008 was probably the best year of my life. Let's hope 2010 is more like 2008 than 2009..
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