1. I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but you're my ex, now... That doesn't even sound possible.. I am still very much in love with you. I realize that things haven't been going the way we would have wanted them to. This is just as much my fault as it is yours. We both fell down on the job in certain aspects. But, even though this hurts like hell, I feel like what we are doing is the best choice.. I want more than anything to pick up the phone and call you right now and tell you that I love you and can't live without you, so lets just try again, but we both know that within two weeks, we'd be right back here again.. Probably.. So, I think it's best for us to give each other some time and some space, and maybe we can pick it up again when you get down here. I realize that this is a HUGE maybe. You may have found someone else by then. Or I might. Or we might just realize that we're happier this way. But I'm hoping that we can still try. I truly do feel that God led me to you. And I feel like giving up on you without giving this relationship 100% of myself would be me basically spitting on a gift from God. So, I'm not ready to give up. Not yet. I just think we need some time to realize what is really important to us. And maybe being single and being back out in the dating realm will make us see "Oh shit. I really had something special there.. I'm willing to do everything in my power to get it back". Anyway, I love you. More than I love anyone in this world (I mean, I love my parents more than anything, but you're a close second..). And, I still believe that I will always love you. I hope that some day we'll come back to each other. You know where to find me. Goodbye...
2. Hey. Seems like we need to talk. Apparently, some things were said a while back and I became privy to the information. And I feel like everyone involved made unnecessary judgements about everyone else. Some things were said about me being too condescending. Some things were said about me feeling like I was better than my ex. Some things were said about me hating my father. But, I just want to take this time (You know.. Since it's too late) and make some of this stuff clear.
If I was ever condescending to your daughter, I never meant it to be rude. I only ever spoke to her in a caring manner. There may have been times that I knew the answer to something and she didn't, so I may have tried to explain the concept to her, and she may have mistook my explaining for a "teacher-student" mentality, and then stuff blew up. Or maybe, I mistook my explaining for a "friendly advice" mentality and didn't realize what I was doing. Regardless, I never meant any harm by that.
Okay, as for the other thing. This all goes back to the McDonald's conversation. At the time of this conversation, I never knew anything was wrong with what I said or how I said it. Then later, it comes to my attention that someone began talking to someone else (I'm not sure exactly who initiated the conversation. Doesn't really matter) and it turns out, you guys felt like I was saying that I was "too good" for McDonald's, and as a result, I was "better" than your daughter. I never felt that I was better than her. Never. I was actually 100% willing to take the job. I didn't WANT to take the job, but I would have, cause I needed a job. So I talked to my parents about it, and lo and behold, they told me not to take the job. They said that I could do some chores for them around the house, and they'd give me cash here and there. That way, I wouldn't have to work in fast food. Not necessarily that I'm "too good" for it. But just that they didn't want me to do it, and frankly, I didn't either. That was all that happened. There was never a mentality of "Oh, well I'm too good for McDonald's, and since my girlfriend worked there, that means I'm better than her". I never felt that way. I hope you guys can see that..
Finally, about my dad. I think what happened here was that one or both of you, through your daughter's twitter account, found my twitter page right after a massive argument between myself and my dad. Now, keep in mind, this is like.. third party information. I'm not entirely sure what happened first hand. But, the impression that I got was that when one or both of you saw my twitter post, someone made the assumption "Oh, man. He really hates his dad! I don't want my daughter dating someone who hates his father!" And then the situation was relayed to your daughter. Okay. Without coming to me and asking me what my twitter page was about, I could see someone coming to that conclusion. But, that couldn't be further from the truth. My dad and I had gotten into it about my spending time with them while we were on a trip (the cause is really irrelevant) and I was mad. It felt like Father's Day had been ruined because of his attitude, basically, and I was ranting about it. In about 10 hours, I was over it. And we're fine now. My dad and I are always fine. We love each other more than anything, and though I may rant about my life from time to time, I would never HATE my mother or father. Anyway, I guess I feel like the assumptions that were made about me were unfair, given that no one came and asked me what was the real scoop.
Okay, so then after all that information was thrown at me, I was like "Wow, they made all those assumptions about me, based on that small amount of information?" And for a while, I was pretty upset. I thought that it was unfair. But, over time, I basically got over it. I was still a little sore about it, and I wished someone had come to me and asked me about things, rather than make assumptions and then share them with my girlfriend, but I more or less got over it. So, as far as I'm concerned, there are no hard feelings. I realize this is "your daughter's ex boyfriend" talking, so I'm sure you guys aren't exactly A-OK with me at the moment, but I hope that you'll see that I was never a jerk intentionally. If I ever did anything jerk-y, it was with the best of intentions (as strange as that sounds).
I think that's basically all. Again, if anyone who reads this is offended by the information, I'm sorry and I'll promptly remove it. I just felt like this was a good place for self expression, and since I'm not naming names, and you might be the only people who read this, I felt like this would be ok. Thanks for reading this.
Oh, and as far as I'm concerned. Today was pretty rough. I woke up, knowing what I had to do, and dreading it. Went over to Blake's for the football game. Then, the break up. Then a little more football. Then work. Which sucked. I mean, it was okay, once I shook off the nausea from the shock of "Oh shit, what just happened?". I had a few "moments" at work, but other than that, I survived. This will probably become my "recovery blog" as I try to make sense of this new chapter of my life. I'm still really unhappy that the last chapter is closed, but I think it's for the best, even though it hurts a ton.
Okay, I think that's about enough. Have a good one.
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