So, it would be easy to say that my stupidity over the summer and whatnot has caused me to lose brain cells and now I'm permanently dumber. But, frankly, I don't think that's what's up. Work with me here, cause this may be a little far-fetched.
If you've been in contact with me recently, or if you've been keeping up with my blog, you know that I've been going through a rough patch. Well, I've been extremely depressed and/or emotionally compromised. And I totally feel like kids/people who are so overcome with their problems/inadequacies can easily lose track of their duties or obligations. Look at mothers with postpartum depression who forget to FEED THEIR CHILDREN! I'm not saying that it's an adequate excuse. I'm just saying it happens. I have no one to fault but myself, so don't accuse me of trying to escape blame. I'm totally to blame. But I don't think it's because I'm "stupid" or "retarded" or whatever. I think it's because I'm depressed and my mind has been focusing on how much of a bummer everything is.
So, what does this mean? It means that I need to get my head out of my arse and start getting my life back in order. Duh. But how do you do that? That's the tough part. I think, though, that since I'm finally starting to realize that my emotional craptitude is actually affecting my school career, it might be slightly easier for me to start getting better. The last thing I need here is to fail a class or twelve because "I'm lonely". No. I'm not gonna do that. So, that's going to give me a little more resolve to get things back in place. I don't NEED a girlfriend. I don't NEED anything other than me. Well, and my laptop... And my cell phone... And Halo Reach.. And... several other things. But, seriously, I can be happy just being with myself. I did it for YEARS before I found Leah. I was miserable after Meredith and I's falling out, and i was miserable for a long time, but I had gotten my crap together long before Leah came around. And maybe that's why I found Leah. Because I was better emotionally put-together.
So, that's kinda given me a new focus. I'm not saying it's a light switch. Lord knows it's not. But, I have something to shoot for now. Something that I want. Something important. Maybe that'll help.
Anyway, so after I realized that I had forgotten to go to the Conference and, thus, forgotten to write my paper on it, I freaked, called my teacher, left a message, and basically tried to ask her if there was any other assignment I could do in order to make up for it. I told her I was in no way concerned with the $35 that I'm not out, because to me, not failing this class is worth significantly more than getting my money back for the dang DSY Conference. Anyway, she basically said that she'd work with me and we could figure something out. So I talked to her in class and it turns out that someone actually taped the conference and they're going to put it up on the internet and she's going to give me and the other girl who missed the conference a link to watch it and let us turn in out papers the following week. Well, except for me. If you read the post where I pasted the conversation between me and Andrew, you know that she had me redo that paper from a few weeks ago. So I turned that paper back in on Thursday and she read it and apparently graded it but left it at her house tonight. Anyway, she doesn't want me to write the paper over the DSY Conference until I have a chance to read her comments from the other paper first. So, she's going to give me that paper back next Monday and have me write the DSY Conference paper for the following Monday.
I'm seriously grateful that she's allowing me to do this. I normally HATE the idea of getting special favors, whether it be me or anyone else in class. Everyone should be on an equal playing field, and I'm no exception. But, I gotta say, thank goodness that she's being understanding about this. I mean, everyone makes mistakes. I didn't exactly explain to her my reasoning for missing the conference that I just explained to you all, but the bottom line was: Conference was Friday. I missed it. Period. And she's giving me and the other girl who missed leeway. So, I hereby rescind all of the crappy comments I made about her the other day. She's a very understanding and nice lady. Awful teacher. But, nice gal.
Came home. Watched football. Ate steak and potato. Great conversation with the parents. Overall, good night! And now, I'm talking to you all! And at 2 AM, I'll get on ESPN.com and try to pick up some new fantasy football players based on their performance this week. OH! Finally won this week! I was 0-2 in two of my leagues and 1-1 in the other, and I won all three games this week! So, for those of you playing the home game, that means I'm 1-2 in two leagues and 2-1 in another.
Alright, that about does it for this week. Hey. I only have three followers, and I know two of you read this from time to time, and then I gave the address to another special person the other night, but I've been thinking. I have been going through and watching some YouTube stuff from people and a lot of it is just like... the guy sitting in front of his webcam just talking about things that he finds important or exciting or that piss him off or whatever. I'm kinda considering doing something like that. This new laptop has a webcam on it, so I dunno. Do you think it would be more fun/effective/interesting if my giant floating head spoke these posts, or do you prefer not having to look at me and just reading my inane crazy thoughts? Please respond if you feel like it. Cause I personally think it would be kinda cool. I don't know how to publish videos on here, and I may have to resort to a YouTube channel, but I have one and I wouldn't mind doing that, if people would watch from time to time. Anyway. Think about it. It could be cool. And then maybe later on I could get some like editing software and actually make the videos (or vlogs, as the kids call it) look neat. So yeah! I might try recording something after I post this just to see how it goes.
Anyway, you all have a wonderful night, all 3-4 of you. (Especially you.. Yeah, you know who I'm talking to..) I'll catch you on the flip side!
New Shannon
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