Saturday, March 27, 2010
Girls
Theres a good chance i wont post this, but at the moment, i wanna get it off my chest.
Im definitely ready to be back in a relationship. Im ready to show someone that i can be everything they need. I can make them happy. I can be selfless for them. Im ready for a girl to show me those things too. Showing me that im cared for and that they see no other men but me. Problem is, no one im interested in feels the same.
Theres one girl that id literally, literally do anything for. She's just flat out not interested. No matter what i say to her or do for her, its just not gonna happen.
Theres one other girl who im pretty interested in. She told me that she doesnt like relationships, but that she loves making out and wants to spend more time with me.. well, honestly, i think im looking for a little more than just making out. And at some point, this is going to leave me feeling unsatisfied.
When you are a man (or who knows, maybe its just me) it really bums you out when you feel like youve shown that you are or can be everything that a girl could ask for and she STILL doesnt want you.
I realize that im just supposed to be patient and wait it out, but thats easier said than done when the one you want is in your face all the time. I dunno. There is no solution. Im not looking for an answer; im just venting my frustration. I guess i have to just keep doing what im doing and hope that either one of these girls changes her mind or that someone totally new falls into my life. Unfortunately, i see both of these possibilities as unlikely.
Oh well. Sometimes you get lemons..
Location : 1710 N Ozark Ave, Springfield, MO 65803,
Monday, March 1, 2010
Firefight / Seizing the Day.
Been playing Firefight with Mark a lot recently. Last night Tim joined us. It was hella fun. We basically have nicknames based on what we do. Tim's Snipes, I'm Wheels, and Mark's Gunny. Tim, obviously stands on high ground and kicks the ass of unsuspecting folks down below. Mark and I get on a Warthog (basically a jeep with a rotating turret on the back), I drive, and Mark guns.
We actually worked well as a team. I'm a pretty insecure person, so it makes me feel good when I'm part of something that is made better by my being there. Mark is impressed by my wheelman skills. I'm impressed by his gunning. Everyone's impressed by Tim's headshot ratio. We need a fourth person, though. I'm trying to think of a good strategy for the 4th.. I suppose he would either suppliment Tim, or he'd run around on the ground with a Grav Hammer and beat the shit out of the people the rest of us miss. I guess I'd have to come up with a nickname for "The guy who beats the crap out of people by using the Grav Hammer repeatedly." But I can't think of one. Smacker? Wacker? Beater? Mace? Mace! That could work! I like it.
Alright, random topic number 2
I read a blog post by Brentalfloss, who rocks, btw, (http://twitter.com/brentalfloss) (http://www.youtube.com/brentalfloss), and he mentioned seizing the day. And how a lot of people don't, simply because they are worried about the consequences it will have on tomorrow. "I better not go out with my friends to the bar cause I have to get up early tomorrow." Sure, I get that. But Floss's argument, or at least, what I got from it, is that, yes, your tomorrow may be somewhat less than ideal, but how many times in your life will you get the opportunity to do the things that make you happy? Not as many as you'd like. People get older. People move away. People get more and more busy.
Cherish the time you have. Do what you want to do. Screw tomorrow (to an extent) because you HAVE to live for today. Today is what's important. Tomorrow will work itself out.
I've never been that sort of person. I've always been a "what about the future??" guy. But, reading Brent's blog really sort of woke me up from that. Dude. How many times did I refuse to go do something with my friends because I was worried about waking up the next day, or whatever else? Tons! How many of those friends still live in town? Not many. Sure, it might have sucked the next day, or I may have gone from an A+ student to a B student. But in the long run, who cares? Your life is short. Shorter than you think. Grab it. Wrastle it down. Make it your bitch.
Now, I'm not saying go get drunk as hell every day, do drugs, and eat yourself into a coma. We all must exercise restraint. But find the happy medium. DO something! You were given this life, this gift. Don't spoil it just because you don't want to have a hangover. You don't want to gain a few pounds. Who cares?! LIVE!
I'm also kind of referencing the movie Yes Man here.. I'm not just gonna blindly say "yes" to everything I'm asked. "Hey, Shannon! Wanna smoke this crack?!? Wanna make out with this 60 year old man?!?" But, I am gonna focus on being more of a yes man than I did before.
Bottom line. Take risks. Sure, things may sting for a while. You may crash and burn. But, wouldn't it be better to lay there, bleeding on the pavement with your best friends, laughing and screaming "THAT WAS AWESOME!!!" than watching from the sidewalk, wishing you'd had the guts to try it?
Friendships, relationships, plans, activities. Just go. Just have fun. You only live once. And you don't have NEAR as much time as you want. It something makes you happy, just go. Do it.
Nuff said. Any thoughts?
We actually worked well as a team. I'm a pretty insecure person, so it makes me feel good when I'm part of something that is made better by my being there. Mark is impressed by my wheelman skills. I'm impressed by his gunning. Everyone's impressed by Tim's headshot ratio. We need a fourth person, though. I'm trying to think of a good strategy for the 4th.. I suppose he would either suppliment Tim, or he'd run around on the ground with a Grav Hammer and beat the shit out of the people the rest of us miss. I guess I'd have to come up with a nickname for "The guy who beats the crap out of people by using the Grav Hammer repeatedly." But I can't think of one. Smacker? Wacker? Beater? Mace? Mace! That could work! I like it.
Alright, random topic number 2
I read a blog post by Brentalfloss, who rocks, btw, (http://twitter.com/brentalfloss) (http://www.youtube.com/brentalfloss), and he mentioned seizing the day. And how a lot of people don't, simply because they are worried about the consequences it will have on tomorrow. "I better not go out with my friends to the bar cause I have to get up early tomorrow." Sure, I get that. But Floss's argument, or at least, what I got from it, is that, yes, your tomorrow may be somewhat less than ideal, but how many times in your life will you get the opportunity to do the things that make you happy? Not as many as you'd like. People get older. People move away. People get more and more busy.
Cherish the time you have. Do what you want to do. Screw tomorrow (to an extent) because you HAVE to live for today. Today is what's important. Tomorrow will work itself out.
I've never been that sort of person. I've always been a "what about the future??" guy. But, reading Brent's blog really sort of woke me up from that. Dude. How many times did I refuse to go do something with my friends because I was worried about waking up the next day, or whatever else? Tons! How many of those friends still live in town? Not many. Sure, it might have sucked the next day, or I may have gone from an A+ student to a B student. But in the long run, who cares? Your life is short. Shorter than you think. Grab it. Wrastle it down. Make it your bitch.
Now, I'm not saying go get drunk as hell every day, do drugs, and eat yourself into a coma. We all must exercise restraint. But find the happy medium. DO something! You were given this life, this gift. Don't spoil it just because you don't want to have a hangover. You don't want to gain a few pounds. Who cares?! LIVE!
I'm also kind of referencing the movie Yes Man here.. I'm not just gonna blindly say "yes" to everything I'm asked. "Hey, Shannon! Wanna smoke this crack?!? Wanna make out with this 60 year old man?!?" But, I am gonna focus on being more of a yes man than I did before.
Bottom line. Take risks. Sure, things may sting for a while. You may crash and burn. But, wouldn't it be better to lay there, bleeding on the pavement with your best friends, laughing and screaming "THAT WAS AWESOME!!!" than watching from the sidewalk, wishing you'd had the guts to try it?
Friendships, relationships, plans, activities. Just go. Just have fun. You only live once. And you don't have NEAR as much time as you want. It something makes you happy, just go. Do it.
Nuff said. Any thoughts?
New Direction
So, I haven't done this in a while. I just stop caring every once in a while. If I had a large number of followers and people who wanted to read it, I'd pay more attention. I don't really see the need for my to post updates about my life to essentially a blank wall. I did for a while, when I was hurting and needed to do it for therapy purposes. But now, I'm mostly happy(esque) and I don't really see the purpose.
I see/talk to most/all of my friends on a daily basis. I talk to my parents like once every two days or so. So there's really not much to update that people don't already know. So I guess for now, whenever I'm bored, I'll blog about something I happen to be thinking about at the time.
Sound good? Ok!
That'll be my current plan, until such a time occurs that I need to use the blog for therapy again.
My second post today will be the first in my new direction.
I see/talk to most/all of my friends on a daily basis. I talk to my parents like once every two days or so. So there's really not much to update that people don't already know. So I guess for now, whenever I'm bored, I'll blog about something I happen to be thinking about at the time.
Sound good? Ok!
That'll be my current plan, until such a time occurs that I need to use the blog for therapy again.
My second post today will be the first in my new direction.
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