Chuck Finale

So, I watched a show called Chuck. I've seen every episode. The series finale was Friday night and I just watched it. Here's a series synopsis.

There's this guy named Chuck. He's pretty much a big loser. Computer geek. No skill with ladies. Very little social ability, etc. One day, he gets an email from an old college buddy, who became a spy, and the email downloads a CIA super computer called the Intersect into his head. The next say, a CIA agent named Sarah Walker and an NSA agent named John Casey show up to "handle" Chuck. In other words, they protect him while the government figures out how to get the Intersect out of his head. And they decide to use him/the Intersect to catch some bad guys along the way.

Through the process, Chuck learns some spy abilities and gains some confidence and eventually falls in love with Sarah. Sarah struggles to determine whether she was just following her cover identity or whether she falls in love with Chuck. In the end, she admits to having feelings for Chuck and they become a spy couple. Eventually they get married and discuss starting a family, etc.

Okay, if you watch the show, or plan to, and haven't yet seen the final two episodes, stop reading. Come back after you have finished.

So, short version of the story, the government gets the Intersect out of his head a while back, after they create a new version that, not only gives the user a crapload of knowledge, but also gives them Matrix like fighting ability. The problem with this new Intersect is it makes you lose your memories. It's like the Intersect controls so much of your brain that it can't hold all of your information as well.

So, in order to stop a dangerous plot of some kind, Sarah ends up putting the Intersect into her head. Then, she gets captured, and the bad guy forces her to use the Intersect over and over again until eventually, all of her memories are gone. She forgets Chuck, she forgets their relationship, she forgets that she's in love with him. It's all gone. Back to who she was when she met him. A cold, calculating spy woman who has no feelings for this random loser guy.

Meanwhile, Chuck is still in love with her. I mean, she's his wife. So he tries various tactics to get her to remember that she loves him, and all of them fail. She then, he tries to make her RE-fall in love with him, and that seems to fail too.

So, picture yourself in that scenario. You're in love with someone. You've had so much time together. All of these memories and stories and events together. Suddenly, they forget that you even exist, and even though they believe that you're telling the truth, that you have this life together, they just... Don't feel it anymore. "Yes, I'm sure you're right. I'm sure we did get married and talk about family and fall in love. But I don't have those feelings anymore. They're gone."

The finale episode of the show consists of Chuck and Sarah trying to find and capture/kill the bad guy who screwed up Sarah's brain. And they travel to a whole lot of places that happen to be familiar to their relationship. Then at the end, there's a like 3 minute clip show of some Chuck and Sarah moments throughout the 5 years of the show.

It really was a beautiful way to end the show. I loved the symbolism back to the first season of the show. It was great. I'm just bummed out that it's over. It was such a great show. I'll probably need to own it at some point. There were a LOT of "I'm Chuck Bartowski" moments that I had while watching the show over the years.

Anyway, that's it. I just wanted to talk about the show and what I thought of it. If you watched the series, or the finale, or whatever, leave me a comment and tell me what you thought. Thanks!

I need a break.

So, I'm student teaching now. And I hate it. It's an assload of work for something that I don't want to do. I don't want to teach high school. But, I'm putting myself through this to get my high school teacher certification, just in case I can't find a job at a college and because I think it'll look better on my resume that I am a qualified teacher and not just some dude.

I have an assload of papers to grade and I have an assload of lessons to write and teach to kids who, for the most part, have no interest in the topic. Sure, I'm gonna have the same issue in a college setting, but I still picture myself being happier there.

On the topic of general happiness... It's no surprise that I've struggled with depression for quite some time now. Probably not deep enough to warrant clinical assistance of any kind, but regardless, I'm almost constantly bummed out about something or another. Sure, I have good days, and a couple of good things will happen here and there, but for the most part, I wake up unhappy, I go through my day faking being happy, I get home unhappy, I spend a few hours with my friends (my only source of happiness) and then I go to bed alone and unhappy.

Like I said, I don't think I need to do anything extreme about how I feel. I don't think I need to talk to someone professional or take medication or anything. I just think sometimes things suck. And, recently, I haven't had much in the realm of people trying to help me be happy. Not pointing fingers or anything, but sometimes, it would be cool if people realized what you were going through and gave a little bit of their time/energy into helping you be happy. I only feel that way because I deliberately give MOST of my time/energy into helping my friends be happy. Like, seriously. Every ounce of my energy that I'm not forced into putting into student teaching or my job, I give to my friends. Somewhere, in my mind, I feel like I deserve the same from the people that I care about. Where are they when I need them?

I'm not saying my friends are crappy. I totally understand how hard it is to go out of your way for people. Think of it like this. Let's say you have a cat, and always feed her, always change her litter, always change her water, take her to the vet when she have ringworm... It's not necessarily in her realm of understanding to see that you may be suffering and might need a little extra purring or snuggling, right? I mean, her whole life, YOU have been doing things for HER. Not the other way around. I can see how it might be tough to break out of that mindset and see that, "oh, just because they have been the provider, doesn't mean that they won't occasionally need to be provided for."

So, that's about it. I'm in a funk. And it will probably last until the end of April when I get finished student teaching. If I last that long. Sheesh.