Update

Negative, Ghost Rider.

So, I'm bummed, but not crushed.

Back to the drawing board.

I'm freakin out, man! Well, not really.

So, once again, I got "too busy" for blogging. Which essentially means I was bored out of my mind but found other ways to attempt to occupy myself. No biggie.

Uh, recent events... I started looking for a job, kind of. I'm looking but not looking CRAZY hard. I want to find my own place to live, but I'm also kind of waiting for my gym membership and a few other changes that I've made to start showing some promise. Which, they are. But, I make excuses. A lot.

Other than that, I don't really think too much has happened that's worth note. This blog is more of a plea. A plea directed towards myself. Or, more accurately, a plea directed towards specific attributes that I have.

Bottom line, tomorrow is Monday (Or, today is Monday, since I'm posting this at 3:something AM.) and I'm going to do something that I haven't done in a while. And I'm quite nervous to be doing it. But, I have a feeling that, regardless of the outcome, the act of doing said task will significantly improve my courage and demeanor. Of course, I'm hoping for a favorable return, but I'm prepared for the worst.

So, tomorrow, I need my shyness and my insecurities to take a vacation. Not because the outcome of the entire situation depends on it, but more because it would make my job MUCH easier.

There, I think that was vague enough.

Also, apparently I have a bad habit of flinging WAY too many commas into everything I write. I just went back and took out about 5 of them... Yay for proofreading. There are probably still more unnecessary commas in this post. Sue me.

Possible update later, after said task is completed? With maybe good news? I hope?

Two Thousand Ten: The Year of Transitions

Okay, fine. I'll do an end-of-year wrap up post.

So, briefly, this year blew. Yeah. I said it.

I didn't blog for much of this year and I went ahead and did a "recap" post a while back, talking about the breakup, and moving back in with my folks, and all of that, so I'm not gonna rehash all of it. Suffice it to say that it was an extremely difficult year. And as a result, I grew and changed as a person. Much of 2010 was spent trying to find my place in this world, and I know I'm not the only one who felt this way. I may have made some mistakes in trying to figure that out, but hey. We all screw up from time to time.

Bottom line is this: I had a breakthrough about a week ago.

I've spent much of my adult life hiding behind this shadow of what I can't be. I can't be thin. I can't have short hair. I can't do this. But, you know what? All of that was just an excuse to BE LAZY AND DO NOTHING. I CAN do any of that stuff. It just takes getting off my arse and doing it.

So, 2010 was the Empire Strikes Back of my life. It pretty much SUCKED, as far as what happened during the year. But, at the end of it, I see light on the horizon. I see a way to put myself where I deserve to be. Destiny has finally found me. Or I found it. Or whatever. I'm not saying I'm gonna blow up a Death Star or kill the Emperor or anything. But I am saying that I'm done hiding in my moisture farm on Tattoine. I'm ready to become the man that I'm supposed to be. And it took getting my hand cut off for me to figure it out. Sucky situation, but something that was necessary for me to realize my own potential.

So, here's to the end of a terrible year. And here's to the start of me doing something about it.

Twenty-Eleven, here I come. With a vengence.

December blues

So my cousin James and his wife just had a little baby boy.

I'm super happy for them, but... When is it going to be my turn to be a dad?

Raibh a fhios agat go bhfuil tú fós ar an gcailín ar mo bhrionglóidí?

H-Ween

Yeah, nothing exciting tonight.

Friday and Saturday night I did dress up, however, and attend several parties. Friday was a party at Julie's and we watched Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein and played Headbands. My costume won first place! Booya. For pictures, please see mah Facebook.

Saturday night was a movie watchin party at the Murad's. I could only stay for the Rob Zombie Halloween movie. Which wasn't bad. Then it was off to Mark's party, where my costume won for "Most Badass". And we played Battle of the Sexes and Scene it. Then it was off to Leslie and Dustin's party, where we sat around a campfire and just talked about random crap. Most of the random crap being trying to get me to sleep with someone so I could break the first rule of Horror movies. Why they wanted to be attacked by a serial killer while I have sex, I'll never know. Regardless, it didn't happen. I don't wanna get myself chopped up while doin a dirty deed.

Tonight, I did homework and watched the Saints beat the Steelers (Who dat?!). And now I'm freshly out of the shower and ready to do nothing whatsoever till tomorrow.

Also, a tragedy has happened.....

I've had a goatee-ectomy.

Yes, that's right. The two-plus years of growth on my chinny chin chin has now been reduced drastically. I still have a goatee, but its length is severely diminished. Everyone seems to like it better, but I'm still bummed about it. I did it for my Halloween costume, cause you know, I don't know how to half-ass Halloween costumes. So yes, it has been reduced and I immediately regretted it. But who knows. Maybe this'll be what brings the ladies to the door. (Hah.)

Anyway, that's all I got. Happy H-Ween. For those of you who wanted candy, I hope you're securely in a coma. And for those of you who wanted carrots or whatever, I hope I never see you again.

Sincerely,

Shannon "The Less Bearded" Beardenstein

Just a Dream

I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.

I was at the top and I was like I’m at the basement.
Number one spot and now she found her a replacement.
I swear now I can't take it, knowing somebody's got my baby.
And now you ain't around, baby I can't think.
Shoulda put it down. Shoulda got that ring.
Cuz I can still feel it in the air.
See her pretty face run my fingers through her hair.

My lover, my life. My shorty, my wife.
She left me, I'm tied.
Cuz I knew that it just ain't right.

I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.

When I be ridin man I swear I see her face at every turn.
Tryin to get my usher over, I can let it burn.
And I just hope she notice she the only one I yearn for.
Oh I miss her when will I learn?

Didn't give her all my love, I guess now I got my payback.
Now I'm in the club thinkin all about my baby.

Hey, she was so easy to love. But wait, I guess that love wasn't enough.

I'm goin through it every time that I'm alone.
And now i'm missin, wishin she'd pick up the phone.
But she made a decision that she wanted to move one.
Cuz I was wrong.

And I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.

If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
And now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything.
I said, if you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
And now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything.

I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.

And I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.

Stupid Nervous Boy

So, remember the other day where I was all convinced that things with the current girl might not happen? Well now I'm confused again. For all intents and purposes, tonight was a great night! A minor mishap, but other than that, pretty good. The minor mishap was something that I was SURE was a dealbreaker and I ruined everything, but after consulting with a few other people, they have assured me that I didn't screw anything up and that I did the only thing I really could have done considering the situation.

So, this really means a whole lot of nothing. I'm right back where I was before I had my "this isn't happening" mini-breakdown. But, I was told to focus on the positives from the evening rather than overanalyze the one botched scene from the night. Which is tough. My middle name is Analysis. And my other middle name is Over. So, it's not easy, but I'm going to try to focus on the fun, the laughing, the smiles. And there were a lot of those things!

So, I dunno. Do I think she and I are actually gonna become "significant"? I don't know. It'll take time. She has some major barriers that need to come down first. But, I've got nothin but time. So, we shall see. I'm definitely NOT convinced that it WON'T happen, though. Which is an improvement over my last blog.

In other news, I've suddenly become a Lil Wayne fan... Yes, that's right. I'm a neohippie who likes a rapper. Sue me. Or, don't. I ain't got no money.

New Shannon, who has started looking a lot like Old Shannon recently? Question mark?